Every month, like clockwork, right when she was ovulating, my wife, Josie, would have a business trip.

We've been married for years and still no baby.

So I flew out to find her, only to see her walking out of a fertility clinic with Sebastian, the guy with the fancy Ph.D. from Europe.

She was there for IVF.

The sperm was Sebastian’s.

When I confronted her, she was so damn sure of herself.

"I'm just borrowing one of his sperm cells. I want a child with excellent genes."

"Is biology really that important? The baby will still call you Dad."

I told her I wanted a divorce.

She could find some other sucker to play dad.

…

Back at the fertility center, after Josie and her "practically-a-brother" Sebastian left, I spent some money to ask around.

I finally got the full story of what they were doing there.

In vitro fertilization.

My wife. And Sebastian.

Great. Just great.

I flew back home that night.

Josie got back almost at the same time I did. She kicked off her heels, collapsed on the sofa, and called out to me with her eyes closed.

"Honey, my legs are killing me. Come rub my feet for me?"

I just sat on the couch, scrolling through my phone, pretending I didn't hear a thing.

Josie waited a few seconds. When she realized I wasn't fetching a warm towel and pulling off her stockings, she sounded surprised.

"Leo, I'm talking to you. Didn't you hear me?"

"Yeah," I said, my eyes glued to my phone.

"If you're tired, just go to that spa. Didn't you just load up your gift card with a few thousand?"

Josie squinted, then a little smile played on her lips.

She slid her legs, still wrapped in black silk, onto my lap and started teasing me with her feet.

"But nobody does it like you, honey. You know I love it when you get your hands on me."

"What's wrong? I thought you loved this. You always tell me to spoil you more."

I glanced down her leg to her flat stomach, then shoved her feet off and stood up.

A flash of confusion crossed Josie's face. "Leo, what's gotten into you? Is something on your mind?"

"It's nothing. I'm tired. Going to bed."

I lay down on the bed, and Josie followed me right in.

She was holding a fancy gift box, and she held it out to me.

"Honey, I bought this for you on my trip. Want to open it and see?"

Her trying to be all mysterious just pissed me off.

A gift from your trip? What, a nice new pair of horns for my head?

I tore open the packaging.

Inside were three watches. Two large, one small.

I gave them one look and tossed the whole box into the trash can.

Josie just stood there, stunned.

"Leo, what is that supposed to mean? Don't you want a baby? Let's have one. This is a matching family set of Rolexes. I had to pull strings to get them."

Seeing her play innocent, I decided to just spell it out.

"You mean you had Sebastian pull strings for you."

"Yes, I did. I don't know anything about watches, so I asked his opinion. He said this was the hottest new model, you can't even get it in the States. What, is that a problem now?"

"Ha. A problem? Why would it be a problem? Nothing is a problem when it comes to you and him. You should keep them for yourselves."

"Josie, just stop. I'm tired. I want a divorce."

Josie's face darkened, and she stared at me coldly.

"Leo, are you throwing a tantrum?"

"You want to divorce me over something this stupid?"

"I told you before we got married, Sebastian is like a brother to me. My actual brother. And my parents asked me to take care of him."

"When did you become so damn petty? Are you even a man?"

I almost laughed out loud, but I was too tired to even answer.

"You're being ridiculous. I just got back from a long trip, I can't be bothered with this. We'll sleep separately. You take the guest room."

I saw her eyes dart to the trash can.

I let out a sneer, grabbed my pillow and blanket without another word, and went to the guest room.

I didn't even have to look back.

I knew she'd fish that box of "family" watches out of the trash and treasure it.

Perfect for when their little family of three was ready to wear them.