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I promise myself that I will never fall in love with Ulie again. He broke my heart once, and he can do it again if I let myself fall for him again. I thought that I will never meet him again, but fate has its way. He became the father of my children and now we are living together.
He always tried to win my heart but I always rejected him. I can see that he changed a lot compared to when we were in college. He's more mature and responsible now. But I can't accept him because I am afraid that I will get hurt again because of him. I am also not sure if he likes me for me or just because of the twins.
After hearing that he once tried to end his life, everything changed. It pains me from thinking that I will lose him forever. I don't think I can handle that. I want him to remember me completely but if remembering me means the possibility of him remembering his trauma and will encourage him to end his life then I don't want it anymore.
We can build a new memory together. I decided to forget the past and just focus on the present, not just for me or Ulie but for our kids.
"Ellie."
"Dahlia, I'm glad you agreed to meet me."
Dahlia is my spiritual leader in our church. I always go to her whenever I am down, or when I am extremely happy. He was like a mother to me. She was there when I lost my parents. Without her, I don't think I can get through everything that I went through. I called her today because I needed her advice about my decision.
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