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"You don't look happy," I told Ellie.
I expected her to cry with happiness now that I finally remember our past. But it did not happen, she looks more scared than happy.
"Of course I'm happy! But I can't help to feel scared."
I frowned. "Is it because of my suicide attempt again?"
Ellie slowly nodded. I can't blame her for feeling that way. I feel a bit happy because I can see that she is scared to lose me forever but I am also feeling a bit piss because of my previous suicide attempt, she became scared of me remembering her or my past.
But if you will ask me, I want to remember my past with her. And I'm glad that now, I finally got my lost memories of her. I can explain myself to her now.
I heaved a heavy sigh and then I hold Ellie's hand and squeezed it. "Don't be scared of my lost memories. Everything is different now. I will not attempt to kill myself now because I have you and the kids. Our family is my life now. I will always think of you guys first before making a decision. Please be assured that I will not do that again. I love you and I will never leave you."
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