Chapter 1

My mom’s condition took a sudden turn for the worse. She was coughing up blood, and the doctors said she needed surgery immediately.

I called my boyfriend, Caleb, who was working out of state. He was a genius surgeon, the only one who could possibly save her.

He answered, promised he was on his way, but halfway here, he called back. There was an emergency surgery, he said. He couldn't make it.

I crouched in the sterile hospital corridor, my hope draining away with every unanswered call I made to him.

I could only watch as my mom's EKG line grew weaker and weaker.

On the ninety-ninth call, he finally picked up.

My voice was a desperate whisper. "Caleb, my mom is in critical condition. You're the only one who can do this surgery. I'm begging you, please, come back."

Caleb was silent for a long time.

I waited, and waited, until he hung up without a word.

And then I saw the post from his little protégée, showing off the sunny-side up eggs he had just fried for her with his own two precious hands.

The caption was a thinly veiled taunt.

[Had a little accident today, but my mentor didn't blame me at all. He even cheered me up. 🥰]

So that was his "emergency surgery"—cleaning up his protégée's mess.

In my moment of absolute desperation, he had abandoned me for another woman.

The moment my mother's EKG flatlined, it felt like my own heart stopped beating.

A doctor removed his mask, his face beaded with sweat. "We did everything we could, Lena. My condolences."

I could see the pity in everyone's eyes. They all knew that Caleb Sinclair, the one surgeon who could have saved her, was busy comforting someone else.

My mother lay on the bed, her eyes shut, her face a pale, waxy white.

I couldn't bear to look. Wiping away my tears, I shakily dialed Caleb's number again.

A cold, automated voice filled my ear. I finally broke, collapsing onto my mother's lifeless body, sobbing, begging her to open her eyes and look at me.

I cried until my legs gave out, and I sank to the cold floor.

Through my blurry tears, I saw the photo on the nightstand. It was of me, my mom, and Caleb.

It was from the first time I brought him home. My mom, who was always so frugal, had hired a professional photographer just for the occasion.

I forced myself to my feet and took my mother to the crematorium. I watched as she was reduced to ashes, to a small, heavy box in my hands.

After the funeral, Caleb finally called back.

"Lena, what are you doing? Why haven't you answered my texts?"

I was too drained to speak.

He finished his rant and hung up.

I opened his last message, sent two days ago.

[Claire ran into some trouble and she's upset. I'll be back after I handle it. Tell your mom to hang in there.]

Two days ago.

My mother was already gone.

A fresh wave of pain pierced my numb heart. I opened Claire Everly’s social media feed.

In just three days, she had posted more than ten times.

From her messing up a surgery and bragging about Caleb having her back, to him taking time off to take her for a walk on the beach just to cheer her up.

The comments from our mutual friends were all flirty and teasing.

[Didn't someone say his hands were too precious and he'd never cook in his life?]

Caleb's reply stabbed me in the eyes.

[This time is different.]

Of course it was. In everyone's eyes, Claire and Caleb were a perfect match. Similar backgrounds, similar interests, same profession.

If Claire hadn't gone abroad back then, they would have already been together.

I was just the placeholder. The choice he settled for.

Only after my mother's death did I finally understand: the second choice is always the first one to be abandoned.

With that thought, my fingers flew across the screen.

[Caleb, the engagement is off. We're over.]

I didn't wait for a reply. I blocked him on everything.

I went back to the apartment Caleb and I had shared for eight years and threw out everything that reminded me of him.

For eight years, my entire world had revolved around him. Without him, all that was left of my life fit into one small suitcase.

I clutched the urn to my chest and walked out, closing the door behind me without a second glance.

Before leaving town, I made one last stop at the temple. When my mom first got sick, I'd spent half my savings to light an Everlasting Lamp for her. It was time to say goodbye.

I never expected to see Caleb and Claire there.

"Oh, Caleb, you're so good to me! I only mentioned it once, and you actually brought me to light an Everlasting Lamp."

"I heard these are impossible to get. Each spot is reserved. What if the person who originally had that lamp gets mad that we put hers out?"

Caleb gently stroked her hair.

"Don't worry. I'm here."