- Visitor
Sign in
In previous years, I always spent this day with Zoe.
I would take leave from work, prepare ingredients at home, and we would spend the entire day indoors, not going anywhere.
I would put everything aside to talk with her, watch movies, water the plants on the balcony together, and then make dinner. After she finished eating, I would cover her with a blanket and watch her fall asleep on the couch.
Only she and I remembered the anniversary of her mother's death.
She never told anyone else, not even Stella.
The trauma of her mother's suicide wasn't obvious to outsiders. At the time, it was rumored that her mother was the one who had an affair, nearly abandoning her family to run off to America with her lover.
So after her mother died, she went to work as usual, showing no outward signs of distress.
But I knew she was grieving. Her every posture and movement, even her smile, was soaked in sorrow.
I looked at the red circle on the calendar and silently deleted the mark.
Today, I took leave as usual and spent the day with Stella at an amusement park.
For lunch, we went to that Hunan restaurant she had been talking about for a long time.
In the evening, I received a call from Zoe. She sounded tired as she asked me why I hadn't come.
I said, "Stella wanted me to be with her."
The other end of the line went silent.
After a long pause, Zoe slowly asked, "Do you know what day it is today?"
I said, "I know, but today is Stella's birthday."
"Today, you should be asking Jayce to be with you."
Zoe on the other end let out a cold laugh. "I told him about today a week ago, but this morning he still went out with his friends to ride mountain bikes."
"He's not like you. He doesn't care about my feelings."
I sighed softly. "When two people are together, they need to compromise and adjust to each other."
Realizing that might have sounded too cold, I took a deep breath and changed my tone to comfort her.
"Are you okay? If you're sad, go for a walk, or ask a friend to keep you company."
After a long while, the other end faintly said "Mm" and hung up.
She had already made her final choice.
And I had started a new life.
After all, I couldn't be with her forever.
I thought.
When I woke up the next day, I saw that Zoe had called me twice, at midnight and 2 a.m.
I had already set my phone to silent and was asleep.
I looked at the two missed calls and remembered how, whenever Zoe and I had a falling out, I would be the one tossing and turning all night.
My heart felt like a wrung-out dirty rag, dry and wrinkled, sour and bitter, until I couldn't bear the torment anymore and would be the one to seek peace.
Back then, I wouldn't dare to call her. I could only carefully craft my words, painstakingly typing out messages to her.
Every sentence, every word, was filled with helplessness and humility.
So much so that no matter what we argued about later, Zoe grew accustomed to me being the one to bow my head and show weakness.
Then she would graciously nod, and we would reconcile, back to how we were.
But last night, I had stayed out too late with Stella. After she went back to her place, I just washed my face and fell into an exhausted sleep.
If I hadn't seen Zoe's calls when I checked my phone this morning, I probably wouldn't have remembered her existence all day.
I thought about it and finally sent her a message: *Slept through it yesterday, what's up?*
After sending it, I got up to wash. When I picked up my phone again, I saw she had replied faster than I expected.
But it was only three words: *It's nothing.*
Sign in with Google
By proceeding, We will assume you have read and agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.