Half a life of paulownia

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Half a life of paulownia

Chapter 8

“No—!”

Cora’s trembling hands scooped up the ashes, now mixed with dirt. She was nearly incoherent.

“Nellie, don’t cry, Mommy’s here…”

Just as she was trying to put the ashes back into the broken box, Kaelen stepped forward and kicked it away with brutal force.

“Cora, let me tell you something. When a person dies, there’s a death certificate!”

“Did you really think you could scare me with some random ashes in a box and I'd just believe you?”

Cora’s hands froze in mid-air.

She slowly looked up, her eyes filled with a desolate, final grief.

And in that moment, Cora finally understood what it felt like to truly hate someone.

“Kaelen, if you care so much about Nell being gone, then why didn’t you come back that night? The night of the storm, when she had a fever!”

If Kaelen hadn’t gone to Cheryl and Shauna, she wouldn’t have had to brave the storm alone. They wouldn’t have been trapped. She wouldn’t have had to watch her own daughter die in her arms!

But Kaelen heard her words, and a look of dawning comprehension crossed his face.

“So that’s it. You’ve been holding a grudge about that night this whole time. That’s why you keep lying to me, trying to make me feel guilty, isn’t it?”

“Cora, you’d use our daughter’s death as an excuse over something so trivial? You have a heart of poison!”

“Let me tell you, if anything had happened to Shauna in that storm, it wouldn’t just be you and me—Nell herself would have had to kneel at Shauna’s father’s grave and beg for forgiveness!”

He finished, then ground his heel into Nell’s ashes and stormed out of the yard.

Cora stared at the footprint in the ashes, completely stunned.

Watching his retreating back, her tears fell, drop by drop, mixing with the dust and remains of her child.

“Nellie… it was my fault. I never should have brought you into this world…”

In the end, Cora used a small glass jar to collect what was left of Nell’s ashes.

She carefully placed the jar in her breast pocket and walked into Nell’s room.

She curled up on the small bed, clutching the glass jar to her chest, her voice impossibly gentle.

“Sleep now, my baby. Mommy won’t let anyone hurt you ever again…”

The next morning, as the first light of dawn broke, Cora left the house.

She was the first in line when the County Clerk’s Office opened.

She sat at the counter, her expression numb.

“I’m here to file for a death certificate.”

The clerk took the documents she handed over and confirmed the details. “Nell Hayes. Father, Kaelen Hayes. Mother, Cora Vance.”

“Age five. Died of high fever… Residence, Big Pond Group, Canton Township, Riverdale County…”

Listening to the words, Cora dug her nails into her palm, feeling as if she were being flayed alive.

A few minutes later, she had the death certificate. Then she asked, “Excuse me, I previously filed for a compulsory divorce. Has the decree been issued?”

The clerk checked her records. “You filed seven days ago, correct?”

Cora paused. It had already been seven days. She nodded. “Yes.”

The clerk confirmed the details and passed a manila envelope through the window.

“It’s been issued. Here is the divorce decree from the county. Please keep it safe.”

Cora took the divorce decree and placed it with her child’s death certificate, then stood up and left.

Just as she stepped out of the building, she saw Kaelen’s Jeep.

He was holding Shauna, walking toward the office with Cheryl, laughing and talking.

“Cheryl, today I’m officially transferring Shauna’s guardianship to my name. From now on, she’ll be my daughter in every sense of the word.”

As soon as he finished speaking, he saw Cora at the entrance.

His smile vanished. But to his surprise, Cora just glanced at him and turned to walk away.

Kaelen watched her go, a sudden pain lancing through his chest.

But he quickly dismissed it, holding Shauna and walking into the office. *Let her cool off. She’ll come around and realize she was wrong.*

Meanwhile, Cora returned home and went straight to her room, clearing out everything that belonged to her and Nell.

She found a metal basin, started a fire, and began throwing their things in, one by one.

A pink doll Kaelen had brought back from a trip. He never knew that Nell didn’t like pink. She loved the blue of the sky…

A broken hair clip. Kaelen had bought it, and Shauna had deliberately broken it. When Nell cried to him about it, he had just said, “I’m sure your sister Shauna didn’t mean it. Daddy will buy you a new one, okay?”

But Nell died before that new clip ever appeared.

One item after another, Cora fed them to the flames.

“Nellie, I don’t want you to be trapped here. Take these things with you, and don’t look back…”

“Baby, next time you choose your parents… please, choose well…”

The flames lit up her face, and burned her tears dry.

After burning Nell’s things, Cora started on her own.

But when she was done, she realized how little she had.

A few changes of clothes, three pairs of cloth shoes, one wedding photo, two marriage certificates, two divorce decrees…

In the end, Cora only kept Kaelen’s copy of the divorce decree. Everything else, she threw into the fire.

As the flames rose, she turned and placed three items on the table.

One was the stamped death certificate—proof that Nell was truly dead.

The second was the morgue’s storage receipt—clearly stating the date of Nell’s death, March 23, 1980.

The last was the green-covered divorce decree—proclaiming the absolute end of her marriage to Kaelen Hayes.

Looking at the three items, Cora smiled a silent, hollow smile.

“Kaelen, I’ve given you everything you wanted. From now on, we have nothing to do with each other.”

“I’ll take Nell to see the world bloom, and we won’t need you anymore.”

Cora picked up the glass jar with Nell’s ashes and walked out of the house without a moment’s hesitation.

The wind rustled her hair as she walked forward, never once looking back.

In the empty living room, beside the extinguished fire basin, a half-burned wedding photo lay on the floor.

It was the half with Kaelen’s face, burned away to nothing.

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