Chapter 1

Madison and I got into a car accident at the same time.

My boyfriend, Liam, the head of orthopedics, pushed my hand away.

"Madison, stop it! Brittany needs surgery, now!"

So, I was the one who could go to hell.

The day my skeleton was donated to Liam's department, he sat in his office for a full twenty-four hours.

After that, the most brilliant orthopedic surgeon at Riverside Hospital never held a scalpel again.

1

The hospital room lights flickered, and through the haze, I saw someone in a white coat rush in.

"Dr. Sterling, the OR just called, there’s an opening. Who's up next?"

I reached out and tugged at the edge of Liam’s coat, but he frowned at me—at least, I think he did; everything was blurry.

Brittany, in the bed next to mine, started sobbing again.

"Liam, am I going to be disabled? Will I have a scar?"

Liam didn't hesitate. He pushed my hand away.

"Madison, you just have a few cuts on your face and hands, easily fixed with a local. Brittany has a fracture that needs immediate surgery. Can you please just stop?"

My head was spinning. I watched Liam being so gentle with Brittany, not even glancing at me. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

I wanted to say, Liam, I'm not acting up. I really don't remember how Brittany got hurt.

I never bullied Brittany. Why don't you believe me?

I can leave you. I'm not that desperate.

...Liam, please just look at me, okay?

Then, he wheeled Brittany out of the room.

The gurney echoed through the hospital corridor at dusk, a sound that pierced my ears.

He didn't look back.

2

Beeeeeeeeep.

With the flatline on the heart monitor, my soul began to rise.

I saw a nurse calling for the doctor on duty and rushing toward my room with a crash cart. I felt a pang of guilt.

Sorry.

I know death reports are a pain to write, and now you have another one because of me.

I floated upward, into the operating room.

Liam had just finished scrubbing and was putting on his gloves.

After all these arguments, I finally had a chance to look at my boyfriend of seven years objectively.

Honestly, Liam was a good-looking guy.

Back in college, I fell for him when I saw the sharp look in his eyes as he performed experiments. That's why I decided to pursue him.

Who knew he had a childhood sweetheart?

I poked him in the back.

"You know, I had a lot of guys after me. If you had told me earlier, I wouldn't have had to be with you."

Liam didn't hear me. He put on his gloves and walked right through me, startling me.

I almost snapped at him, but I just bit my tongue.

Whatever. He can't hear me anyway.

The lead door opened, and a scrub nurse came in with a phone.

"Dr. Sterling, they said your department is trying to revive a patient. Do you want to take a look?"

Liam didn't even pause while he was putting on his surgical gown.

"Let them handle it themselves. Can't you see I'm on the clock?"

I sighed. Liam was always like that. Surgery came first.

Still, I suggest you go check it out today, seeing as I'm the patient they're trying to save.

Then, I looked at Brittany, strapped to the table, and I suddenly wasn't sure.

In Liam's mind, who was more important: dead me or living Brittany? It was hard to say.

Brittany's fracture was tricky, and so was my resuscitation.

As Liam frowned and pieced together bone fragments, the lead door opened again.

"Dr. Sterling, downstairs wants Dr. Miller from Anesthesia to intubate the patient they're trying to revive."

Operating rooms were also social environments. A great surgeon like Liam got the best people.

I guessed, in my ghostly state, that I must be in bad shape if they needed Dr. Miller, the best anesthesiologist around.

But Liam refused again.

"I don't like switching anesthesiologists mid-surgery."

Fine, fine. Brittany's surgery is more important, more important than my life.

I was getting angry. I made a face at Liam.

The lead door opened a third time, and Brittany's surgery was beginning to take shape.

"Dr. Sterling, they've been coding for half an hour. Do you want us to keep trying?"

Liam threw the drill onto the instrument tray, finally losing his temper.

"Don't you people get it? It's been half an hour. Call her parents and ask them if they want us to keep trying. If it were up to me, I'd say pull the plug!"

I nodded in agreement.

The decision to stop resuscitation has to come from immediate family. There's no point in asking Liam.

It had been half an hour. From a doctor's perspective, there wasn't much hope of saving me.

After all, who would go to the ends of the earth for a miracle except for their loved ones?

3

Brittany's surgery ended late in the night.

For some reason, I couldn't leave Liam. I couldn't get more than six feet away.

He seemed to have forgotten me completely. He waited in the recovery room for two hours, until Brittany was fully awake, before returning to her room.

Liam personally carried Brittany to her bed and propped up her pillow, waiting for the nurse to hang the IV. Only then did he look at my bed.

"Where's Madison?"

The nurse hesitated.

"Her mom picked her up earlier tonight."

Liam nodded, saying nothing.

After a while, I saw him walk to the window, pull out his phone, and bring up his contacts. The screen said "Honey."

He seemed hesitant. He was just about to press the call button when Brittany spoke.

Brittany, sitting on the bed, pale and fidgeting, said, "Liam, maybe you should call Madison. I'm sure she didn't know pushing me would hurt me this bad."

Liam paused, his eyes flashing with anger as he looked at Brittany's leg. Then, he exited the contacts.

He went back to Brittany's bed, patted her head, and said gently, "It's okay. You're seriously hurt. She needs to think about what she's done."

Ha?

I almost laughed.

If I could touch Liam, I'd kick him.

I saved Brittany's life when she was about to be hit by a motorcycle! Didn't he see that I hit my head and suffered a brain hemorrhage?

I couldn't remember then because of the hemorrhage, but now that I was dead, I remembered everything!

But then, I deflated. Remembering wouldn't have mattered anyway. Liam would never believe me.

Liam stayed in Brittany's room until the next morning.

Everyone was surprised when he walked out of Brittany's room to hand off his shift.

After a few glances, his closest resident said, "Dr. Sterling, aren't you going to go see your girlfriend?"

Liam waved his hand impatiently. He didn't seem to want to hear anyone mention me. "It doesn't matter."

Since Liam had spoken, no one said anything else.

I heard a female intern mutter, "I didn't think Dr. Sterling was such a heartless person."

I snorted. Liam wasn't heartless.

When they got to Brittany's room, Liam's face softened.

"I'll change this patient's dressing. She can't have any scars."

I looked at the girl who had complained. She was speechless.

See? He always treated Brittany differently.

4

Liam was cutting an apple for Brittany when my mom called.

Her voice was weary, worrying me.

"Liam, won't you come see Madison?"

Liam put down the knife, sounding respectful.

"Aunt Carol, Brittany still has a broken leg. I can't leave. You..."

My mom's voice rose. "She can't leave? Did you know Madison was pregnant? With your child!"

Liam's eyes widened, his fingers tightening around the phone. He opened his mouth, but my mom started to cry again.

"Never mind. Why am I even telling you this? She's gone anyway... Liam, you can stay with your Brittany. We don't need to see each other again."

Mom hung up. I wanted to scream.

I didn't know how I left the hospital last night, but my mom was definitely upset.

I touched Liam's phone, trying to call back, but I could only pass right through it.

Souls don't cry.

Mom, don't cry. I'm here. Don't worry.

Liam was still holding the phone.

I kicked him.

Liam, are you useless? Call my mom!

What's wrong with my mom? Go see her!

"Gone?"

Liam muttered to himself. He rushed out of the room, barged into the doctor's office, and slammed his hand on the desk in front of the doctor who had tried to save me.

"Alex, you were on duty last night. Did you treat Madison?"

Dr. Alex looked up at Liam's red eyes, startled. "Dr. Sterling..."

"Did she miscarry?"

Liam's raised voice startled Dr. Alex. "Dr. Sterling, we didn't know she was pregnant until the end."

Liam stumbled backward. He took off his white coat and turned to leave.

I urged him on.

Hurry up! Go faster!

Go see what happened to my mom!

The elevator arrived. I was about to get in with Liam when he stopped.

I saw Brittany dragging herself out of her room.

Crap.

He's not getting on the elevator.

Sure enough, the elevator closed and went down. Liam turned back and carried Brittany back to bed.

Brittany trembled in Liam's arms, tears in her eyes.

"Liam, did something happen to Madison? I saw her buy abortion pills. It's my fault. If I hadn't broken my leg, I would have told you."

Liam was silent.

He turned red and sat back down. He covered his face and said, "It's not your fault. She didn't want my baby."

I looked at Liam. He was on the verge of tears, and I just laughed.

As a former medical student, Liam should have known that if I wanted to get rid of a baby, I would have chosen a D&C, not medication.

But Liam believed everything Brittany said.

That's why I couldn't win.

5

I patted my stomach to make sure there was no ghost baby.

This was my second pregnancy.

The first time was when Liam and I had just graduated and were looking for jobs.

Liam was thrilled.

He asked me to marry him, saying he would take care of me, but I valued my career and ignored him.

Our marriage was delayed for years.

I knew it bothered him.

But I didn't regret it. If Liam didn't understand, that was his problem.

As for this second baby...

I never felt its presence.

Maybe leaving was for the best.

With the way Liam and I had been lately, we wouldn't have had a good ending.

Liam called me again, of course, no one answered.

He sent a long voice message on Instagram: "Madison, whatever you're doing, you shouldn't have aborted our baby again. Come home tonight by eight, and I'll explain."

This man is so strange.

Give me a chance to explain?

Brittany already made it up. Would he listen?

And I couldn't speak anyway.

I was sad.

Liam went to the bakery and bought a strawberry cake.

It was my favorite.

Except I liked the mango flavor.

He never got it.

He came home, cooked red date porridge, and stewed bone broth.

He sat at the table all afternoon.

I knew he was waiting for me.

For the past three years with Brittany, I had wanted him to sit down and talk to me.

It happened today, but we were worlds apart.

But I still loved him, and I was sad.

I sat across from him.

"Liam, forget it. I'm not coming."

Of course, Liam couldn't hear me. He pulled out his phone, switching it on and off.

At 7:30, his phone rang. Liam looked hopeful. He answered, but when he realized it was his department, he looked disappointed.

"Dr. Sterling, patient 27 has a high fever. Do you need to come?"

Brittany was in bed 27.

He had to go.

Without hesitation, he put on his coat and went to the hospital.

Brittany was pitiful. Her cheeks were flushed.

Liam checked her medication and made some changes, doing everything himself.

Last year, I had an appendectomy and asked Liam to stay with me. He said the hospital had aides and that I was acting like a baby.

Brittany must be his little darling.

When Brittany woke up, she started to cry. "Liam, I'm sorry. I know you wanted to talk to Madison today. My body isn't working."

Liam's fingers twitched. He checked his phone and realized that he was late.

He looked at my Instagram. He frowned when he saw that I hadn't posted anything.

"Porridge in the pot, soup in the warmer, cake in the fridge. Don't eat too much. Rest well. I'll be back in the morning."

Then, he added, "Brittany needs me. Madison, please don't be mad, okay?"

I rolled my eyes.

I don't get mad. If you want to know who does, listen to the nurses.

The nurses were already gossiping.

"Patient 27 finally calmed down. She almost died before Dr. Sterling came."

Everyone knew except Liam.

6

It had been three days.

The hospital was already ordering flowers for my funeral.

When would Liam realize I was dead?

I watched Liam sleep in the on-call room.

We hadn't spent much time together since we started working.

We worked in the same hospital but barely saw each other.

We hardly saw each other, even when we were home.

Maybe that's why we had grown apart.

Brittany was a fly, but there were cracks in our egg.

Today, the hospital told Liam to go to the office to discuss receiving my skeleton.

When we graduated, Liam and I went to donate blood and bone marrow.

If we died, his skull would go to the Neurosurgery Department, and my skeleton would go to the Orthopedics Department.

We thought exchanging skeletons was love.

I chose the perfect place for my skeleton in Liam's office.

Behind his desk.

Away from the sun but able to see everyone.

When Liam woke up, he looked at his phone. He realized it had been too long since he had contacted me.

He called Dr. Alex. He was hesitant, but he finally asked about me.

"Did Madison hurt that day?"

Dr. Alex looked uneasy. "It was fast. We didn't see anything."

I was speechless. Didn't you see how many cuts I had?

But Liam wasn't satisfied. "Did you use absorbable sutures? Do you have the pictures?"

Dr. Alex was confused. "We didn't use absorbable sutures, and the pictures... haven't you seen her?"

Liam looked unnatural.

Then, he realized something was wrong. He stood up. "Why didn't you use absorbable sutures on her face? What if she's scarred?"

"Prepare a bag!"

Liam frantically called me, but Dr. Alex said, "We don't use cosmetic sutures on corpses."

Liam looked up. "What?"

"Corpse?"

He seemed confused. "You're talking about Madison, my girlfriend. She was admitted with patient 27."

Dr. Alex was confused. "Dr. Sterling, we've been talking about Madison, your girlfriend, the one who died when you were operating on patient 27."