I know a lot about a lot of things, but one thing I’m still getting a handle on is the Zodiac. How do you people know so much about every sign? How do you keep all of that straight? I thought all of my idiosyncrasies were what make me unique, but apparently, they just make me another run-of-the-mill Virgo. To me, Virgos are one of the most boring signs in the zodiac. They’re earth signs (snooze), and they don’t get any of the good memes — no one writes songs about earth signs. In case I’ve been unclear, I’ve never really even identified with the characteristics of my sign, at least not more than I have any other sign’s attributes, you know what I mean? I guess I’m one of those lame-Os that say every sign's description might sound like you if you hear what you want to hear. Tell that to someone who loves the zodiac, though, and they’ll explain why you’re wrong in great detail.
But whatever. To deal with my self-sign-hatred, I made you guys a list (such a Virgo, am I right?) of the coolest astrology-inspired beauty products out right now, so you can use ones made for you and your sign (or narrow down gift-giving by sign), make your life easier since it’s all you people talk about anyway. You’ll see that the uniting themes throughout this list feature colors, finishes, and scents all meant to be inspired by their corresponding signs. All of the Virgo products are, like, brown, which I take personal offense to because are we really that simple? (See what I mean? Virgos always get the short end of the stick.) But maybe that’s not the point. Again, I’m not an astrology expert (we already have one of those) but I do know my way around makeup and beauty products, which I’ve gathered up for you here. Enjoy, my little zodiacs.